The Fifth Commandment
The fifth commandment that God gave to Moses on Mount Sinai, declares: “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Ex 20:12). Though this seems to be a commandment directed primarily at children, it concerns the family, and therefore has relevance for parents as well.
As parents, let us remember two things in pondering the fifth commandment:
- No matter what our children do, never give up hope.
- As God is our father, honoring him will bless our children. Trust that our obedience to God’s commandments will ultimately bless our children as promised in the commandment.
By way of illustration, let us consider Lehi’s family in how they did or did not adhere to the Fifth Commandment. Laman and Lemuel did not keep it. Murmuring against one’s parents brings them no honor. What was Lehi’s response to their disobedient and rebellious spirit? (Keep in mind that their actions endangered family lives on multiple occasions, and during the ocean voyage to the Promised Land, Laman and Lemuel’s failure to keep this commandment carried with it potentially dire consequences for all.) Lehi responded thus:
And he did exhort them then with all the feeling of a tender parent, that they would hearken to his words, that perhaps the Lord would be merciful to them, and not cast them off; yea, my father did preach unto them. And after he had preached unto them, and also prophesied unto them of many things, he bade them to keep the commandments of the Lord; and he did cease speaking unto them (1 Nephi 8:37-38).
Ponder this thought with me (concerning 1 Nephi 2): if Laman and Lemuel, whose seed would eventually destroy Nephi’s seed, wanted to stay in Jerusalem, why didn’t Lehi just let them stay? Wouldn’t that avoid a lot of war, death, and conflict? What of the peace and harmony in the family at the time of their departure from Jerusalem? What if Lehi had approached God in prayer for permission to leave behind his two eldest sons? They had their free agency, right?
On the surface, leaving behind Laman and Lemuel might seem to make preemptive sense. In a few years they would be divided by war anyway; why not just make it official now? After we have finished our attempt to counsel the Lord in a way Lehi did not dare, we remember why this was not right. Angry citizens of Jerusalem sought Lehi’s life. Therefore, for operational security, Lehi’s sons could not remain behind, just as Zoram, the servant of Laban, could not remain behind once he had even remote knowledge of the intentions and whereabouts of Lehi’s family. Secrecy meant safety. Additionally, had they stayed behind, Laman and Lemuel would likely be subject to shame and ridicule because of who their father was; to now be separated from him might only compound the problem. They were near the age of marriage, but likely not past it, so they were not yet independent from their family. How could they seek marriages for themselves? This would go against the customs of the day, that parents arranged marriages for their children. Remember that they approached Ishmael and his family under the direction of their father, Lehi. They could not simply seek the daughters of Ishmael without his guidance. No, they could not stay in Jerusalem without their family.
Setting aside the reasoning of men, let us consider the real reasons Lehi could not leave his sons in a city destined for captivity and destruction. First, he loved his sons. He knew of their rebellious tendencies, but did not give up hope. At the other end of Book of Mormon history, Mormon wrote to his son, Moroni, concerning the ministry among the unrepentant Nephites. Though his own people would not listen and were on the eve of destruction, Mormon would not abdicate his divine responsibility to call them to repentance.
And now, my beloved son, notwithstanding their hardness, let us labor diligently; for if we should cease to labor, we should be brought under condemnation; for we have a labor to perform whilst in this tabernacle of clay, that we may conquer the enemy of all righteousness, and rest our souls in the kingdom of God (Mormon 9:6).
If there was ever a time where missionary work seemed futile, it would be during the last days of the Nephites. In the movie, Return of the King, King Théoden despaired as it seemed his people would be overrun by the forces of evil: “what can men do against such reckless hate?” (J.R.R. Tolkien). Yet, Aragorn, king in embryo, would not give way to hopelessness. Staring death in the face, he rallied the king: “ride out with me!” If they were to perish, it would not be in abdication of their duty, but in devotion to it. No blow struck against evil is wasted. Mormon knew this, and he needed to remain in this vigilant spirit to strengthen his son, Moroni, who would bear the heavy responsibility for finishing and hiding the sacred records in the earth. He wrote several epistles to his son to this end.
Giving in to hopelessness sets in motion a domino effect. What if Mormon had given in? “Why should I declare the word of God if no one will listen? If we who are the primary record keepers are to perish, why am I bothering with this cumbersome set of metal plates? The Lamanites will eventually find them anyway and just melt them down. Carrying them is just slowing me down. God knows my heart, and that what I do will not change the current situation. Is not all this just a waste of time? All is lost.” The prayers of generations of prophets in the western hemisphere rested squarely on his shoulders. Giving up would have run counter to all thir petitions to God.
Let us give thanks that Mormon did not lose hope. He trusted in God and his eternal purposes. Were there among the Nephite armies, young warriors whose parents had set them against the things of God? Though they would soon perish in battle, would Mormon’s words soften their hearts in preparation for hearing the Gospel of Christ in the spirit world? Did not Christ break the bands of death so that it was merely a passing and no longer an obstacle? Alma tells us that “all is as one day with God, and time only is measured unto men” (Alma 40:8). Any blow for good lessens the power of Satan on this earth and in the life to come, no matter how hopeless the current situation seems. Alma records of Captain Moroni that, “If all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men” (Alma 48:17). Our righteous acts have far-reaching, eternal consequences. Through the merciful Spirit of God, our vision can be extended just enough to give us courage to do our duty in the midst of seemingly hopeless situations.
Lehi did not despair; he took his whole family, wayward sons and all, into the wilderness. He loved his sons and could therefore not give up hope. Even after his vision of the Tree of Life, where he witnessed Laman and Lemuel’s refusal to partake of the love of God, Lehi did not give up. He loved his sons.
Because Lehi truly loved Laman and Lemuel, he was obedient unto the commandment of the Lord. Despite their murmuring, he did not give in to their desires to stay in Jerusalem against the commandment of God. He did not honor his sons more than he honored his Father in Heaven. Think back to Eli, the priest in the Old Testament. He was a good man, a godly man who served faithfully in the house of the Lord. He helped to mentor young Samuel, who would later become prophet in Israel. Yet, as faithful as Eli was, he fell short in his parental responsibilities. His two sons, Hophni and Phineas, who were also priests in the Tabernacle, were serving unworthily (1 Sam 2:12-17, 22, KJV). They had selfishly perverted the sacrifices people brought to the Tabernacle. They also “slept with the women who served at the entrance” to the Tabernacle (1 Sam 2:22, NIV). The seriousness of their transgressions had far-reaching consequences for Israel. Because of their wickedness, people did not want to come to worship at the Tabernacle.
After hearing of his sons’ iniquities from other people, Eli reproved his sons, but did not do enough to check them in their evil ways (1 Sam 2:23-25). He honored his sons more than God. Why had he allowed their sins to go on for so long? Scripture records that he did nothing about it until he heard about their deeds from “all the people” (1 Sam 2:23). Why was Eli so slow to discipline his sons? Did he fear their reaction to his rebuke more than God? Because of his neglect in disciplining his sons, he lost blessings, and his short-sightedness brought long-term consequences. A man of God prophesied concerning his posterity: “all the increase of thine house shall die in the flower of their age.”
Compare this curse to the final blessing Lehi gave Laman and Lemuel. Despite their disobedience, he declared, “because of my blessing the Lord God will not suffer that ye shall perish; wherefore, he will be merciful unto you and unto your seed forever” (1 Nephi 4:7). What a contrast! What was the difference between Lehi’s family and Eli’s family? Both had sons who were rebellious, and both reproved their sons. A closer look reveals that Lehi reproved his sons as soon as they started murmuring (1 Nephi 2:11-12); he did not wait to correct them until they had committed heinous sins. He admonished Laman to “run into the fountain of all righteousness” and Lemuel to “be “firm and steadfast, and immovable in keeping the commandments of the Lord!” (1 Nephi 2:8-9). On the other hand, Eli waited until his sons’ untoward reputation had spread through all Israel, adversely affecting the worship of the people. By then it was too late and Eli’s house would be cut off.
Imagine if Lehi had given in to Laman and Lemuel’s wishes. Think about Lehi’s potential rationalizations concerning his sons: “Leaving home would upset them and God would not want them to be upset, right? My sons are not ready to leave yet; we will just leave a little later. It is not as bad here in Jerusalem as I thought; maybe we should stay and help turn things around. After all, I shouldn’t judge these people; I should do what I can to help them.” Any one of the above rationalizations would have spelled doom for Lehi and his family. Each of the above lacks the key ingredient of simple, trusting obedience. Yet, Lehi showed us that anything short of exact obedience is not obedience.
Lehi trusted God and was obedient, and therefore helped preserve God’s blessings for Laman and Lemuel by bringing them to the land of Promise, (kicking and screaming). Even though they did not honor their father and mother, their posterity were ultimately blessed because of Lehi’s obedience to God’s command, which was to take himself and “his family and depart into the wilderness,” (1 Nephi 2:2-3). Lehi honored his Father in Heaven.
With the benefit of hindsight we realize that the seed of Laman and Lemuel were destined to be a scourge to the seed of Nephi in the Promised Land. This was similar to the neighboring tribes fighting with Israel to stir them up in remembrance of the Lord their God. Additionally, as promised by Lehi, Laman and Lemuel’s posterity would be blessed despite the their sins. Would these blessings take a while to manifest in earthly time? Certainly. Yet, millennia later, the Lamanites in South and Central America are “blossom[ing] as the rose” (Doctrine and Covenants 49:24).
Lehi could not leave his sons, Laman and Lemuel behind. They were to remain together with their family in honoring and keeping the Fifth Commandment, and accomplishing the purposes of the Lord. In the spirit of Elijah, let us observe the Fifth Commandment so that we may continue assisting the work to forge an unbroken chain of God’s children back to him. Let us do so, in choosing blessings over cursings for ourselves and countless generations to come, I pray, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
